Adventure #9-Tandem Hang Gliding

Joie De Vierve and other Fancy Words

We began as we always do....in some parking lot where anticipation is the first course.  This time it was not a surprise.  We were supposed to go over a month ago, but the weather did not cooperate.  This gave me (Kat) the opportunity to research and get myself all worked up to the point of actually googling: "How many fatalities were there in 2010 while hang gliding?"  I wonder what number would have been acceptable to me?  I was not going to leave them without a prayer warrior so I went anyway.  Plus, the car rides are always one of my favorite parts and this particular ride did not disappoint.  Dare I say it was the Pièce de résistance? (French word referring to the best part or highlight). 
There were so many fancy words used on the trip that I thought I had possibly missed an adventure where my now brilliant adventure girls took some weird SAT prep course. 

We met at Panera and while waiting for my caramel latte (italian for coffee drink) I overheard a woman say, "Wow that is so awesome."  Without even turning around I knew that it was one of us telling a stranger that she is part of an adventure group and letting her know ALL about it....whether she wanted to hear it or not.  Check, Check.  (It was Tracy this time...a task that Maryhelen usually completes for us). 

We piled into Tracys minivan and before the seatbelts were even fastened, Tracy describes someone and says, "I really love her "Joie de Vivre" (french meaning cheerful enjoyment of life).  Why, Why, Why do I not live on a commune with these girls?  I laugh until I cry EVERY time!  On this ride Stacy said some really big word, too.  But it may have been the moment my brain exploded so I forgot what it was...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I am not proud of the fact that I am not clear on some of the inner workings of the world.  I learned a lot and feel strangly connected to Aretha Franklin.  If you are not a part of this group, but follow the blog (thank you) call me. I will explain my affinity for Ms. Franklin privately; for some things a woman does not discuss outside of the safety of the minivan.  And by the way, I am not the only one who had a little break in common sense thinking today...Tracy, after laughing at my expense, let us know we were in Woodbridge because "there is the IKEA."  Umm...more than one IKEA in the world and we are in Maryland, Tracy.  So at least I am in good company.

Patty and her one liners
Get Patty a little nervous and her comedic timing is flawless.  She is the one who came up with Aretha.  She also let us know that "Bladder over Glider" was a must.  Picture the thought of being 2500 feet in the air and strapped to what we knew would be a handsome man and realizing that loss of bladder control was definitely on this beautiful horizon.  They WERE very handsome, by the way.  Our instructors always are....Sunny and Adam.  ahh...Perfectly sweet and incredibly encouraging.

I have an EVERYTHING
I know a lot of people may have been disappointed that the founder of this group (me) did not participate.  On the way there the girls were trying to figure out what it was that was stopping me.  "Are you afraid of heights?"  "Are you afraid of the glider breaking?"  etc. etc.  I replied "I have an EVERYTHING!"  My husband also said he was worried about this one.  I told Chris that Tracy is completely fearless and will do anything anyone puts her up to...He responded with the typical old man comment, "Would she jump off a bridge if dared?"  After relaying this to Tracy her response was, "Tell him that if I was tethered to the bridge I would."  She really is amazing and so funny.  I will tell you I will never again research beforehand. I am forever grateful that I was never shamed or felt to be anything other than a wonderful friend for coming and supporting!  That is the real deal.  True Friendship.

Pilots License in about 5 minutes

Before departing to NeverNeverLand the girls had to sign a few papers and get a quick overview of the hangglider.  Maryhelen signed and dated hers May 21st, Two Thousand, the year of our Lord, Eleven. Although the instructors obviously knew what they were talking about, Stacy wasn't sure that this tiny rope REALLY could hold up to 5000 pounds. 

PS....Check out Maryhelen in the background.  The look of complete, "What am I DOING?"

I HAVE to go first
Everyone was thinking this, but Heather just got it out first.  She is one of our go-get-ems.  She never seems to be nervous.  And when she has completed the adventure she always says, "that was awesome."
So when she arrived back on solid ground and we were screaming, "how was it?"  and she responded with "It was good." it made us feel a little more nervous. Did that mean it was awful....did she see the world REALLY ending from her vantage point in the sky?"  What did "It was good mean?"  Well, we found out it meant, "It was amazing, but I am about to puke."  Here she is on video taking off.... Our Fearless First!  She was followed by Patty and then one by one my precious brave buddies got in that sack and took the ride of a lifetime. 

The Amazing Aero-Dynamic Adventure Girls!

Sacks and other things we find a way to make inappropriate
So, there was a tandem sack that you needed to get into before gliding.  I mean, come on.  That is just waiting for an inappropriate remark.  I can't remember who said that she was "most afraid of getting in the sack." but it had us rolling.  Add to it our instructor saying "well, I can add a little more pressure" a few minutes later and forget about it.  Life doesn't get any better than when there are double entendres (french) thrown around.  MH also let us know that she was talking about doing this one day with someone and repeatedly called it HANDgliding.  The kind man finally told her it was actually HANGgliding.  I am not sure what handgliding is, but I am almost positive Tracy would do it if she were tethered in some way. 

The Quiet Warrior aka No Cracker
We had a special adventure girl with us this month.  Shannon is Kelly's biological sister and I am still wondering if she will ever join us again.  Shannon, I apologize that we did not allow you, as our guest, to go first and I am super sorry you did not receive a congratulatory cracker.   Please come back and I promise you we will not starve you.  You were just as I knew you would be; gracious, funny and courageous! 
When Shannon headed up, Kelly said with complete sisterly pride, "Look there she is!"  It was so sweet.   
Here is Shannon before and after!

Memo Pad Memory Loss
I always keep a memo pad throughout the day of funny and exceptional moments of our adventures that I can record in this blog.  There were so many and to be perfectly frank (unknown) I cannot remember the origins of the following notes in my memo pad. I know they were hilarious, but I am at a complete loss.  Even without explanation they seem and are funny so I will include them below. 
1) Put a sock up there
2) It is like a facelift
3) Cause that's normal
4) Acid from Tummy
5) My neighborhood is not in Gangstaland
6) He's got you in your special place Heather

Pebbles
I wish I could explain, but I can't. 

We aren't ALL KAPPA DELTAS!!
MH just can't seem to remember that we are a mix of DZ's and KD's.  It is a running joke, but I really think she has it right.   We have grown closer throughout this first year as BG's and now the lines are so blurred that we forget that one year ago some of us had never even met.   And that, my friends, is the exact definition of joie de vierve.   

Final Note: Suzy does not like to hold hands and MH is an excellent bridge driver. 

Thank you to Tracy for planning such a fabulously frightening adventure! We completely missed Lisa and Tina! 

NEXT month: Kat has planned a way to commemorate our One Year Anniversary!

Adventure # 8 - Pole Pressure

Before I begin I must note that the alpha to our omega (or the Delta to our Kappa) was missing from this adventure.  The three Delta Zetas all had plans they couldn't get out of for this weekend.  We missed them terribly.  I am sure after finding out what occurred this past Saturday their husbands collectively let out a disappointed sigh.  Speaking of husbands...we sent texts to our boys filling them in on our latest adventure.  These are some of the texts we received in reply:  "heading to Lowes, what diameter of pole do we need?", "Sounds fun...what did you say the address was again?" and so much more.  Love those fellas.

                                                             The Worrier Worries

Maryhelen avoided phone calls, texts and emails from us all week.  As a group we are kind of an inpatient bunch.  When I shared with MH that I had a bad dream that she forced all of us to go to a Hooters in Jersey to be waitresses for the day, she responded with a "hmm...that is not too far off, Kat!"  From that point on I was going to make it my mission to find out what she had up her sleeve.  But, she didn't budge.  I did extra sit ups, just in case.

When we arrived at her sister's house in Ashburn we had many ideas of what it could be...topping the list were boxing, hot yoga and rock climbing.  And then Lisa yells out, "as long as it is not pole dancing I am cool."  I am not sure if anyone else caught the expression of terror on Maryhelen's face, but I did and I knew in an instant we were going to become one with a pole that morning.  MH asked all of us to close our eyes.  We were draped with black boas and the group was informed of our adventure.  We called our boas the "Incredible Shedding Boas!"  Poor Maryhelen's sister has a constant reminder of our adventure and I am sure she is still vacuuming up feathers throughout her home.  Sorry, girlie.

If you do not know MH personally, let me share a little tidbit of info on her.  She is a worrier.  This fine lady could be standing in a tropical paradise with a yummy bevvie in one hand and the other wrapped around her gorgeous Sam and she would turn to him and say, "Did you know that it is hurricane season?  Do you think we will be ok? Do you think one is headed our way?"  I love this about her.  I carry many of the same traits myself so I can relate.  So, when she told the following story we couldn't stop the laughter because we knew every bit of it was true.  We casually asked MH where our lesson would take place.  We were wondering if it was in a studio or gym  nearby??  "No", she said..."it is in a basement."  She told us the story of how when she called to book the adventure she knew the instructor thought she was crazy. She felt the need to tell her how diverse we all were a million times over....Maryhelen meant diverse in the personality and/or modesty sense of the word.  The instructor responded quietly that while that is wonderful, there is a 250 pound weight limit for the poles.  MH put the phone down...worried for a good 15 minutes and called her back to gently tell her what she was really worried about was the basement thing. Was it legit?  As much as we trusted that this basement would be safe, the chatter on the drive there turned into what the instructor and her pole cave would look like...


   Hammocks and other ponderings
We were told to park in the back of the row of townhomes. Nope, doesn't sound sketchy to us at ALL!  When we arrived I noticed what appeared to be a hammock in the backyard of one of the homes.  I said I knew that this was the house!  I just knew it!  MH's sister, Colleen (and honorary adventurer for the day) turned to me and said, "Why? Because you know what they say about women with hammocks?"  YES, that is exactly what I meant.  Come on, who is with me on that one?  side note: it wasn't the house and the hammock turned out to be a hanging plant.

  Oops...I did it again!
We slowly walked toward toward our destiny leaving a trail of black feathers in our wake.  We were greeted at the door by our instructor and Suzy turned around to tell us she looks just like Britany Spears.  And she did.  She and her basement were adorable, not sketchy, and we were ready to tap into our inner hotness. Pop open the champagne, please.  Like now.

   My name is Spunky Tate, it a pleasure to meet you
We were told we would no longer be known to each other by our real names. We would have to come up with our skanky girl names.  I am not kidding when I say Tina raised her hand and screamed out that she already had her name: Spunky Tate.  Who in the world doesn't love this girl?

So, I am pleased to introduce to you, The Adventure Girls Pole Dancing Team.  Yup, I said it.  TEAM!  Our beautiful instructor let us know that pole dancing is now classified as a competitive sport.  Who knew?

            Spunky  

                         Raquel

Candy

                                                                            
                                         Sugar

                                                                          
                              Lacy

                                  Jade

               

                                                         
                              Dallas

                                            
             Pippa (It was the braids that named her!)

             Our instructor, Cari...yeah...ridiculous....we know.

  She said Maryhelen, She said Maryhelen!
Our first order of business was loosening up and after a few hundred mimosas we were instructed to roll things and pop things that had kind of been in hibernation for the winter.  I can say I am sore in some pretty tricky places today.  The music was fun and the mirrors added to the laughter.  Our interpretation of what our instructor was doing was a comedy act.  To add to the fun we were told that if we used anything other than our skanky names when speaking to one another we were to give a lap dance to that person.  Spunky "Tina" gave many a lap dance and I was treated to a hot number choreographed by Sugar "MH".  I have several videos that I have promised to keep locked away....Let your imagination wander.....

After warming up we were told that we had to "bring the dance to the pole."    We were placed in groups of two and told we had 5 minutes to choreograph a "doubles dance."  Because I was mimosa champion that day I told "Dallas" (the other half of my team of The Wild Moms) that we needed a back story.  I won't bore you with the details, but the pole may have been named Mr. Pitt for our routine.  The other teams gave equally entertaining performances.  Twisted Sista made me blush, Pippa and Candy incorporated some sort of gymnastics into their act and Sugar and Spunky really know how to work that pole good.

side note: during this phase of our training Patty, I mean, LACY, turned to us and said, "We don't have to take our clothes off, do we?"  She was serious. Seriously.

Towards the end of our two hour lesson Cari showed her stuff and we were all blown away....We attempted the fireman spin...which as a fire wife, was supposed to be my signature move.  Let's just say I have new respect for my husband.  Ouch!

Sadly, it was time to bid farewell to the mirrors and poles and head out to lunch so we could let our waitress know that we are part of an adventure group.  We gathered all of our things, our pride and as many black feathers as we could and headed out the door. 

While performing I was reminded of an old King of Queens episode.  I am adding a minute of it below.  Not only does it give you an idea of what we learned this weekend, but it also gives you an idea of what we looked like doing it!  Did we look more like Carrie or Doug?  You take a guess. Click the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiYT0vYRJr0&feature=player_embedded

THANKS MARYHELEN! 

Adventure #7-Ice Cold Paintball

The waiting never gets any easier.  This time it was torture.  I have a confession to make....I ALWAYS spend a few hours researching based on the vague clues our planner gives and up until now I have had a pretty good idea what the adventure will be prior to the reveal.  Not this time...

Heather wouldn't even tell us the cost.  She only warned that we should wear lots of layers because we will be outside.  When I asked if pretty panties were required she came back with a cryptic "always."  I thought it might be some sort of ZTA snow bunnies polar plungie type of adventure.  So guess what I did...I wore my cutest little butterfly undergarments, just in case.  This is how literal a person I am.  Tina has the ability to hear things and know it is sarcasm.  She wore "the most comfortable ones she could find."  Stacy thought it was all a big hoax and just knew that we were going to be taking part in some sort of bikram yoga (hot yoga) so she came dressed in short sleeves and one layer of yoga pants.  Thank goodness Stacy is a generous soul and had a bag of clothes in her trunk for goodwill. She was able to layer up for what proved to be our coldest adventure yet.  White Water Rafting in March had nothing on Paintballing in January.

I look at this picture and just laugh at the sight of us.  Never has a picture of us been so transparent.  It truly captures the spirit of each of us. 

From left to right my gangstas disscected:

Patty: I can't look at the expression on her face and not laugh hysterically.  She looks so focused and tough, but pan down to her pink shoes and you will catch a glimpse of the real Patty. She is at times a screamer, but to be honest she is much tougher than those pink shoes convey.  She is our real life Elle Woods. Sweet, happy, but full of go get 'em.  Her Gangsta name would be Pink Killa.

Suzy: Look at that sweet face trying so desperately to be gangsta, but unable to completely erase her smile.  She works tirelessly with children everyday that are incredibly lucky that she is on her side. She is one of those people that just completely makes your day when you see her and always brings the sunshine with her. Her laugh is contagious.  Her gangsta name would be Sunshine Smuggla.

Tracy: Tracy knows everything.  And I am not saying that with an ounce of sarcasm in my voice.  She truly has done everything and knows so much about the world.  When Kelly got slammed with a paintball to the head she turned to her and said, "you'll be ok, but don't take a nap for at least 3 hours."  She listens intently when you talk and remembers everything you tell her.  Her gangsta name would be Doctor Love.

Maryhelen:  Look at her ankles.  She cracks me up with her one liners that she doesn't realize are funny until everyone laughs.  She may weigh less than my big toe, but she is as strong as an ox and she continues to wow us with her ability to excel at every challenge.  She is such an appreciative friend who takes the time to call or text when she is thinking of you out of the blue.  Her gangsta name would be Tiny Bigs.

Stacy:  Stacy is no joke.  She is always ready for battle.  She tells it like it is and when put in difficult situations ALWAYS rises to the occasion.  Take for instance today...She spent quite a bit of time making jokes about our paint "balls" only to later find out our instructor was a formal student.  Didn't even faze her...she is a power playa.  She is also so spiritual and giving.  Her gangsta name would be Sugar Nailz.

Kathleen:  It is tough to describe myself so I will try to take an objective look at the picture and attempt to do so.  I have spent years perfecting my blue steel gaze as evidenced in that picture.  It is obviously a facade as I am trembling in fear on the inside.  I am my best self around people that accept me for who I am at the core: a big pile of cheesy mush.  My gangsta name would be Mashed Potato.

Tina:  Tina has been such an inspiration.  I thought for sure she would be a screamer foreva with Patty and I, but she is one brave mama.  She is completely fearless and her laughter while tackling these out of the box adventures proves that she is a true "in the moment" warrior.  She is one of those friends that you call when you need to find calm in your life.  She really has surprised me. Her gangsta name would be The Shocker.

Kelly:  Kelly is mysterious and layered.  She is steady and calming.  I really would not be scared of walking dark alley ways with her.  She is one of the those people that would be able to calmly discuss with robbers and villians why they shouldn't turn their guns on us sideways.  She also has great aim.  She was the one who hit me in the tooth!   When pelted in the head she was also the one that went right back in the trenches for more action. She is just awesome.  Her gangsta name would be The Onion. 

Heather:  Heather is one in a million.  She finds humor in everything.  She is no nonsense, inquisitive and witty.  There would not be a day spent with Heather where you wouldn't hear the truth.  She has a way of standing up for herself and others in a way that is never intimidating.  There is nothing fake about her...she is no cubic zirconia.  Her gansta name would be Diamonds.

To cap the adventure in a paragraph is always impossible. Instead, I will give you some paintball advice based on our experience today.  Getting capped in the tooth, finger, thigh, head, etc. hurts worse the "rubber band" analogy our instructor used.  No matter how awesome your teamates may be; yelling "cover me!" and running out into the open field in a red jacket will most likely result in multiple gun shot wounds.  If you run out of balls find Kat...she will have plenty to share.  When your balls need some shaking take them to Heather.  To save energy talk your team into letting the opposing team come to you.  Sorry, blue team.  Did you ever figure out that strategy of ours?  Obviously, it didn't work anyway.  We never won a round.  And ALWAYS assume that our instructors may have been one of our former students. 

So, again today was full of laughter.  It just proves that even while getting pelted by flying balls of torture in the below freezing weather we are still an Army of Happy Giggling Soldiers.  Thank you, Heather, for such a fun adventure!  We missed you Lisa!!!   

Next up: February 26th Adventure planned by Maryhelen.  Dying to know what Tiny Bigs has planned for us!

STRAIGHT UP GANGSTAS!

Adventure #6 - High Speed Grand Prix Racing

I am shocked that it has taken me this long to quote one of my favorite writers. This man is such a poet and always has the right words to describe the human emotion. This adventure seems to be the perfect time to do so.....




"Hey! Hey! I've finally found my way, say goodbye to yesterday, hit the gas there ain't no brakes on this lost highway....yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go, out on this open road. it's Independence Day on this Lost Highway...Hey! Hey!"

-Jon Bon Jovi

It seems that these lyrics capture the true essense of the day so I am forever naming Adventure #6, The Lost Highway.

Suzy planned this adventure and for the first time most of us had absolutely NO idea what she had planned. Her initial clues were: Wear sneakers and bring a packet of hot cocoa. But, the week leading up to the adventure she kept pushing the point that we HAD to bring our ID. There would be yummy cocktails, but they will card. Up until this point I had some irrational fears that were grounded in flashbacks from our Longwood days. I thought we would be meeting up somewhere and would be grabbed from behind, blindfolded and led to the forest by a pack of SPES. At that point we would be handed a shotgun and told to find our Thanksgiving dinner. You may think I am crazy, but have you met Suzy's husband? He has definately mellowed out through the years...he now prefers watching The Hills to kidnapping KD's and DZ's, but I still thought he had talked Suzy into going old school on us girls. There were other crazy scenarios running through my head...but I think it is time to talk about what actually happened on our Lost Highway...HEY! HEY!

side note: The hot cocoa packets we had to bring were for Suzy and I quote, "I just really love hot chocoloate and I was running out, so hand them over ladies." -Suzy

"I've Finally Found my Way"

Getting lost was a commom theme today, but Lisa and Tracy finally made their way to us with cryptic direction from me on the phone, "This may be hard because I do not know street names, but turn at the 1st, 2nd or 3rd light, I am not sure which one...and then turn into a shopping center that I think may be on your left or maybe your right." How you made it is still a mystery!



"Say Goodbye to Yesterday"

Upon arriving we were asked to go to the conference room to watch a quick video on the rules and regulations. After watching this I am sure we were all hoping to climb back in time and say HELLO to YESTERDAY! Please take a look at some of the rules and you will feel me.

I happened to be sitting next to Heather during this rundown. She is so funny and I honestly don't think she means to be. With every flag rule that was thrown at us she had something to say. "Black Flag=bad, Red Flag=time out, If you cannot pose=get off the track." I plan to sit next to Heather during all rule rundowns from this point forward. I was too busy laughing at her attempts to clarify each flag to me that I didn't have time to let my thoughts go to the irrational again.


"Hit the Gas, there ain't no brakes"

Well, there were brakes. The thing is they were only used by Patty and myself. There is a turn on the track where one of the moderators is standing with all of the above-mentioned flags. There wasn't a time that Patty and I drove past him that he didn't wave the blue flag. The blue flag basically means there are real racers behind you that need to pass so would you kindly move to the right so that they can. Patty and Kat, "why certainly, we apologize for the inconvenience...please feel free to lap us for the 4th time." I saw both MH's and Suzy's curly ponytails at each turn just flying past me. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. The straightaway was always the time when Patty and I tried to show the others that we were in it to win it too....until we saw blue again....

side note 2: If you could see where the gas tank was positioned it would make you blush.



"Yeah, I'm busting loose, I'm letting go out on this open road"



So, for the "real" racers this was fo real. These girls really bring out the true meaning of Hypo-Phobic Bad Girls. They were whipping around the curves like Danika Patrick with perfect precision. I know this because I was in perfect position to witness their skill around each bend. :) After the initial qualifying round "Game On" (Heather) was in first position. Tracy was still mumbling that she knew her fastest time was not her last lap and I thought for a second she was going to ask if they had video to prove it. We lined up to begin the actual 25 lap race with Game On and Kelly Reyes leading the pack followed by the rest of the girls in the middle and of course Million Dollar Baby (Patty) and Granny Fernandez (me) as the caboose. The 25 laps sped by and we were finally on the last lap. This is where Tracy got a little "confused" about the blue flag. She thought it meant to stay as close to the edge as possible so that you block all the racers behind you. This error led to the demise of Kelly and the victorious win for Heather! If ever there was a time for the red square time-out or Naughty Nook this was it...

"It's Independence Day...on this Lost Highway"

Each adventure I learn something new about myself and my BG's. This time I learned that if you want to win, you might need to pull your foot off of the brakes. I also learned that my greatest joy is never in winning, but watching curly haired ponytails pass me and knowing that they still have my back even though I spent most of my time today looking at theirs....

Other funny moments:

-Whenever anyone is able to say "that's what Helens says" (adventure 2) it is always a guarenteed laugh. Maryhelen, Kelly and I had pumpkin ale with a yummy nut rimmed glass....to which Stacy replied, "That's what Helen says..." she cracks herself up. I love Stacy's laugh.

-Posing for our pre-race photos

-Watching the middle aged men, especially the one in the yellow suit, race before us and know that even I had a shot at beating their times. 

-Kelly talking about her trip to China and the mysterious massage she got...and Granny not really understanding what she meant by the word "everything."  It must just be the language barrier. 

-Maryhelen asking Kelly if she speaks Chinese after Kelly explained that you need to speak English to work for her company. 

side note #3:
When I arrived home last night I had two cards waiting for me from my kids.  Julia's read:

Bold
Risky
Awesome
Very Amazing
Either Good or Great

Mom you are all of those things!  You are a unique, bright and happy girl that likes to pass the limits.  You know who are! I love you for who you are. 

Kevin's read:

You are a brave mom.  You are brave for risking your fears when your white water rafting, trapezing and surfing.
love, Kevin

The gifts of this group keep growing.  I can now add the pride of my kids and the realization that we are teaching them that it is important to break down those walls, conquer fears and cherish and support your friends.  I am grateful.

Here is a video with pictures from our day!

Adventure #5 - Flying Trapeze

                                                         

                                 THE FLYING VON TRAPPS

We named ourselves The Von Trapps this weekend, but it wasn't because we were climbing mountains (literally) and singing about our favorite things.  It was because were climbing mountains (figuratively) and actually DOING one of our new favorite things: Trapping.  Yes, this is what the pros call the art of trapeze and now we clearly rank ourselves as such!  Keeping with our Sound of Music theme here is my best attempt of recalling OUR FAVORITE THINGS of this ridiculously fun day!

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....wait, let me start over!

                            CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT?

We always seem to be thrown into the fire with little or no instruction.  I am not sure if we look like we are professionals or if it is just that our adventure instructors are looking for a good laugh that day.  This is what we were told before the climb of terror:  Push your hips forward, Get the Rhythm, and above all else remember that "I gotcha!"  Yes, Doctor Mike we know YOU have us, but why did you have to mess up our trapping mojo and switch places with Skinny Trapper midway through.  Two of him does not even weigh as much as one of us! 

                         DR. MIKE AND HIS WAYS

Clearly all of us may have been a little smitten with Dr. Mike.  But none as much as dear Maryhelen.  She has purchased more lessons so that she may be "caught" by him a few more times.  I think it would be a good idea to honor Sam by bringing him some camo tights next time.  Not that we didn't love the flower power tights he wore for us!  When Patty decided it would be a better idea to just stand on the bridge and not grab the bar with her other hand it was he that convinced her that "she had this..."  When he was teaching us the technique for catching I may have accidentally pulled him in instead of pushing him out.  He responded with a "hellllooo."  Yes, Mike, you had us at Hello.

                            THE LOOK OF TERROR

I think Kelly and I both win the prize of terror face. It may have been that we went 1st and 2nd after MH and we really had no idea what we were in for and quickly realized it is a lot more frightening climbing the ladder and sticking your toes off the edge to jump than we thought.  Patty said there was a point when she was standing on the bridge that she thought, "Patty you are so stupid.  Why did you plan this adventure?  This was the worst idea EVER."  Thank goodness the fear turned to addiction as we were warned and Patty was the hero of the day. 

            The Look of Terror

Patty and Dr. Mike pre-therapy session

                              THE TRAPEZE NAZI

There was a ying to Mike's yang with us that day.  The Trapeze Nazi enjoyed wearing sunglasses inside which Stacy felt the need to point out.  And I was thinking, Stacy, please do not wake this beast.  He is angry enough.  He stood at the base of the net calling out our instructions.  It completely went against our nature to not call out words of praise to each other, but we were loudly informed that someone could get seriously hurt if they didn't hear his calls so could we kindly SHUT UP!  Well, ok.  When I came down after my first run to get my pep talk from him this is what I was greeted with, "You know what, Kat?  You know what your problem is?  Your problem is that you just don't believe in yourself the way I believe in you.  And seriously, OPEN YOUR EYES when you are up there!"  Kelly's eyes when he would talk to her said it all.  I was waiting for a smack down.  The other girls got similar "pep talks" and I tried desperately on the way home to justify his poor attitude on a possible "good cop, bad cop" training method, but Suzy wasn't having it and honestly, I couldn't get behind my theory either.  Sadly, we did not take any pics of the Trapeze Nazi. 

                        THE CHICKEN LADDER

The funniest thing was watching each of us approach the ladder and take a sniff of our pits.  Geez, really I can't imagine that stank is coming from each of us. Stacy finally let us know that the ropes we used to climb the ladder smelled like sweaty chicken.  Thank goodness it wasn't us, right?  The ladder had us laughing more than once...MH was so excited she started trucking up the ladder full speed ahead without being strapped in.  One scream from the Trapeze Nazi and she made her way back down.  We also had the "tuggers".  Everyone was so excited to get back up that there were two occasions when Tracy and Suzy   didn't realize that  Stacy and Patty were still attached to the ladder ropes and they almost pulled them 100 feet to the ground.  I say 100 feet.  I have no idea how high we were...it felt like we were on top of the world. 

                       CHALK AND WATER

Tracy went a little overboard with the chalk.  Enough said. Evidence below.  

Stacy saw a lovely photo of a trapeze artist being sprayed with what looked like water (it was actually his own sweat) and in her own deadpan way asked the receptionist if they offered a water trapeze class.  The receptionist didn't get it.  It cracked me up.  She also was first to notice that once those corset belts were fastened and seriously folks, they were so tight you couldn't breathe, we all looked to be about 6 months pregnant.  Stacy has a gift for one liners. 

                                 Witty Stacy

        WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' NET

For the few hours we get to spend with each other each month a sense of calm always washes over all of us. 

I heard Suzy say that while we are together nothing else enters her mind.  I agree! The to-do lists are magically checked off, the stresses of everyday life disappear and all that is present is JOY.  I know all of us have our own insecurities, but when I am with these girls I really feel like anything is possible.  Our conversations are centered around breaking down walls, screaming with pride when one of us conquers a fear, and stories about our children and husbands (who by the way are saints for backing us up on this craziness).  There is never enough room for self-doubt or negativity. So maybe we need a stinkin' net when we are trapping, but with this group of girls you always know what you will get: Laughter, kindness, encouragment and when you think you can't let go they will always be there to catch you. 

One last thing:

If for some reason I do not receive my paycheck this week I will know that Tina has joined the circus. And I fear that if I called MH's house I would get Sam on the line and in his Sam voice he would say, "I don't know where Maryhelen is....Tina came over and told her to grab her TSNY tank top, which she happened to be wearing at the time, and they just took off. And it was so wierd, but Tina kept referring to her as HelenMary."

      May I introduce to you the 2010 Graduates of TSNY

           Kelly

              Kat

              Maryhelen

             Stacy

             Suzy

                        Tina

                                Tracy

                    Patty

        Thank you so much Patty.  What a day!!!

Adventure #4-Surfing

HANGING TEN IN DELAWARE

I think that this adventure had all of us more nervous than past adventures. Maybe, because none of us had a real idea of what it could possibly be!? Swimsuits in September? Seriously?
             Here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Going Surfing in September is a good idea!

Number 10: Extending the Summer

Realizing that we would all have to put on our bathing suits ONE more time was pretty much an adventure in itself.  Once we got over the shock of it and realized that we were going SURFING...we were all thrilled.  I think we made ourselves sick trying to think of what Tina had in store for us.  How many things can you do in a bathing suit?  Well, it was all too much for us, especially for Patty, who threw up in her mouth.

Number 9: Our Newest Recruit Maryhelen

We knew Maryhelen was going to be an absolute trip and would add even more laughter to our already ridiculously funny tribe.  If you have never heard MH do an impression of her husband Sam, I highly recommend you find her and beg for it.  When we asked, "Does Sam think you sound like him?" Her answer, in "his voice" was, "I don't sound like that Maryhelen."  So funny. She will also tell you about gray hair and why it is sad, she will insist she is not going to buy anything and then with crazy eyes try to convince you that if you don't buy this Harry and David coffee you may just die.  On top of it, she had the best run on the surfboard that day!  WELCOME MH!  We love you!

Number 8: Maternity wear without the morning sickness

I went into full panic mode when I realized I left my suits on vacation and needed to run to Target to get a cheapie one for our ADVENTURE.  When I arrived all that was left were maternity suits. Well, I bought it and I wore it.  I still wonder if our instructors wondered and were just to scared to ask knowing I had only one lung and all? 

Number 7: Chocolate covered nuts

Yum. Thanks, Tina!  You were an awesome Adventure guide! "I smell them and I have to eat them." That is what Helen says, anyway.

Number 6: The Checks and Public Nudity

There were a couple of us that had no need to check, but for the rest of my blessed adventurers, the mandatory "look-sees" after being thrashed about in the ocean were hilarious.  And the girls that could care less that they were in a public parking lot, they just wanted out of their stinkin' sandy suits.  I salute you.

Number 5: Men named Peter who live up to the hype
On the way down we were daydreaming about Peter, our surfing instructor.  Would he remind us of a young SPE or would he be 60 in a speedo?   He lived up to the hype, as did his even younger friend.  But, the illusion of perfection was lost when we realized they were strolling behind us on our mile walk while we carried all the gear, in our bare feet, without sunglasses.  I still feel like they were walking behind us with all of our money in their pockets laughing and mouthing the word "suckers." Whatev...they were adorable and didn't for a second give Tracy a break because she only has one kidney. 

Number 4: Sweet Spots
Our "training" consisted of a one minute surfside explanation that it is key to find your "sweet spot" on the board, followed by a quick rundown of "popping."  Then the boys let us know we were ready.  Say what?  The water will be cold, but just muscle through.  There was NO turning back.  We all jumped on our boards,
found our sweet spot and hit the shark infested waters. 

Number 3: Popping
Popping is hilarious.  It is supposed to be done in one fluid movement.  All of us decided to change that to a jagged like movement.  Push with our hands, onto our knees and then if there is time jump onto our feet....oops no time!  I am pretty sure all of us made it up at least once, though.

Number 2: Road Trips
The road trips, and I know I say this a lot, are my favorite times. I know that what is said in the car....stays in the car.  It is fantastic, cheap therapy!

Number 1: Different Strokes

The reason why our group works so well is not because of the ways we are the alike, but how in the many ways we are different.  We have the three "scaredy cats", who in my opinion are myself, Patty and Tina. We are scared of absolutely every adventure planned, but somehow with the help of the others do it anyway.  We have the "pro", Tracy, who by the way has already done EVERYTHING this world has to offer.  We have the "no fears", Maryhelen, Kelly and Suzy.  Those girls, I don't think, will ever walk away from anything that we plan. Lastly, we have Lisa, Stacy and Heather, the "tell it like it is gals"...and trust me when I say we need these brave girls and their ability to say "this ranch dressing sucks, can you bring us out something else?"

Every month I am so grateful that I have these girls and feel like my life is enriched because of our friendship and definately more EXCITING!  Here is to us!  We are awesome. 

Next month: Patty. Socks Optional.

Planning for the Fall

After a summer hiatus the Adventure Girls are back in action.  Dates were scheduled for the next 4 months!  Can't wait to see what everyone has planned.