Adventure 11-Guns and Thumbs: A Deadly Combination



Watch Out, Paper Bad Guys!

Did you know that thumbs are kind of a big deal when it comes to operating a 9 MM Glock?

Our mission was to meet up at Kelly's house in DC at 8:45. We all carpooled in two vehicles for a few reasons. 1) Tina is weaing The Boot. 2) Kat would never make it on her own. 3) It takes more than one adventure girl to figure out what "take the 5th exit on the Rhode Island round-about means?  4)  Maryhelen watches the news.

PG County had better recognize

We waited in Kelly's adorable DC rowhouse to hear what was in store for us on this, our 11th adventure! We were visibly shaken when she pulled out photos of handguns. When we finally started to settle down we got into the car and we asked, "Where? Kelly? Where?" She let us know we would traveling to the delightful county of Prince George.  Anxiety Overload.  Tina was front seat navigator with a map Kelly handed her with a "blank" second page.  We got there though...we just followed the smell of gun powder.

Sa-cur-a-tee

As we waited outside for the doors to open we were struck by the sad, sad state of their security camera.   It was hanging by a thread....just like every last one of our frayed nerves. 





Sketchy Security Cam

10 AM and the doors click open.  Patty turns to me and says, "not sure my black flats are appropriate" to which I replied, "umm...take a gander at my black patent leather flats."   You know the scene in Resovoir Dogs when the guys are all walking down the street together and some cool song is playing in the background?  Yay, we didn't look that cool. And when I think back to all of us walking up to the front door I don't hear a ghetto fabulous song. Instead I hear, "This is it, this is it, this is life the one you get, so go and have a ball."  Yes, that is the theme song from the old 1970's sitcom One Day at a Time.  We were out of our element fo' sho and that ALWAYS makes for a great adventure.   

Gentle Jim and Band-Aids

It was now time to "train" to handle our gun of choice: The 9MM Glock. We lucked out and got Jim. His first question to us was, "Do your husbands know you are here?"  Not only was he sweet as pumpkin pie, he also had the patience of a saint.  The first thing we had to do was learn how to load our ammo.  This is where the first thumb incident occured.  For those who do not know me I have seriously funky thumbs.  They are short and stumpy and I lovingly refer to them as my "dumb thumbs."  While trying to load the gun my thumbs got in the way and ammo went everywhere.  I mean, EVERYWHERE.  The girls helped me retrieve the ammo while we were all laughing hysterically. 

Tina was having a bit of difficulty pulling back the slide.  Her palms were so sweaty and her stance a bit wobbly due to The Boot.  I think this may have been Tina's first attempt to get out of this craziness.  She turned to Jim and said, "I don't think this boot will  keep me steady enough to shoot the gun.  I think this may be too dangerous."  Jim let her know she was just fine and the boot will actually give her extra support.

One of the girls walked up to take her "test" (I believe it was Stacy) and immediately Jim shouted, "You have already failed."  Apparently if your thumb is anywhere near the back of the gun it can cut you to the bone and he will refuse to give us a band-aid because we should all know better.  
We all took our turns taking the test and one by one we passed. Shocking, we know.  My thumb could not reach the slide release so he let Maryhelen and Tina know they would need to complete this step for me.  Those thumbs were screwing us up at every turn. Dumb, dumb thumbs.
**piece of advice.  Do not wear low cut camisole to shoot guns.  You may be embarrased when asked to "cover up because the shells may burn your exposed skin."**



Shaky Hands and Exposed Skin

The Onion Strikes Again

Kelly never ceases to amaze.  She chose this adventure because it was completely out of her comfort zone.  She ended up KILLING it and even walked away with a signature stance.  Kelly's team flew through ALL of their ammo before the sweaty team even had a chance to reload.  Once again, Patty went all gangsta on us and nailed her bulls-eye her first go at it.  I do have to point out that Patty asked Jim if the bullet could bounce back at her.  Jim let her know that,  "frankly, yes it could, but since we're shooting at paper the probability of that happening is pretty slim."  How in the world did he keep a straight face?  

Maryhelen is always so supportive of everyone and never seems to want to compete with any of us...but she ALWAYS competes with herself.  She will be back at that range next week to try to hit that dang bulls-eye and you can bet that Jim will be standing right behind her checking out her "stance."        

Patty asking the question of the hour

I am still wondering how we got through this adventure after listening to Jim tell us (right before we all took our first shot) "You know you could kill someone."  Ahh...so very reassuring.




Tina still not sure The Boot will give her enough support

Just our waitress

We took our customary post adventure trip to a restaurant to talk about our latest adventure and annoy strangers with our story.  Kelly kept with the gangsta theme and we went to Carmines in DC.  The waitress came over and we let her know we were part of an adventure group.  After noticing she had little interest in hearing more about our group we decided she may not have heard us.  She returned with our food and Maryhelen said, a bit louder this time, "We are a part of an Adventure group."  Crickets.  And then she was gone. Lisa turned to Stacy and said, "Obviously she is just our waitress and not our friend."  After 11 adventures together it still stuns us when strangers are just not interested in knowing more about us.  We will never stop trying to convert others to the adventurous side, but until then we know we can out-raft, out-Helen, out-zip, out-surf, out-dance, out-trap, out-paintball, out-race, out-glide, out-boudoir, and now out-shoot 'em all.  Thank you Kelly for an unforgettable day!  I am now in post-adventure girl funk and can't wait to see you again.  We missed you Tracy, Suzy and Heather!   

***We came out of this adventure unscathed with the exception of Patty's thumb which is now purple for reasons unknown.  DUMB THUMBS!***

In All Our Glory



Kelly



Lisa



Maryhelen



Kat



Patty (please note her updo)



Stacy



Tina

The Adventure Girls are now pairing up to plan adventures and the team of Stacy and Tina is first up.  Until November....

Summer Hiatus

The Adventure Girls are taking the summer to go on adventures with their families!  We will be back in September. 

Adventure #10 Adventure Girl Anniversary Photo Shoot

Cute and summery, denim: white or blue=Adventure Girl Tailspin

Who knew the words white denim would send my adventure girls into a tizzy? I love how they will strap themselves to a zipline, trapeze and PLANE with no fear, but telling them to wear jeans and a "summery" top scared the living daylights out of them. Patty made the comment that "while we are fearless and courageous we are still GIRLS in the end." Yes, we are girls in the end, but today my sweet, precious Adventure GIRLS were going to have to find their inner Adventure WOMEN!

The planning actually started weeks before June 11th. I had written an email to the husbands requesting their assistance. Here it is...

Adventure Girl Husbands,
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE do not share the contents of this email with your wives. We take the surprise factor very seriously. And some of them will find a way out of this one if they read about it. LOL.
So, it has been a year of Adventures and since I started this madness I wanted to commemorate the year with something fun! I have hired a professional photographer to shoot an Adventure Girls calendar. The actual calendar will be fun and campy. We will just be acting out all of the adventures for the monthly photos.....But, here is where you come in. I have to make them squirm a little bit! I am asking that when she is about to leave to go on the adventure that you hand her a bag that is COMPLETELY stapled shut. In the bag please put one your button down shirts and one of your ties. The photographer will be shooting your wives in JUST those items for a secret photo just for you. It will be a THANK you to our hubbies for putting up with our shananigans this year! Please also include in the bag a letter to your wife telling her in your own way how proud of her you are....because I know you are...and what you think the Adventure Club has meant to her...etc. The letter should be between 2-3 paragraphs so they are all about the same length. I know it is sappy, but work with me. It will be read to her before she heads to the basement for her pin-up photo...so make it good. :)
Remember this is all TOP SECRET! Don't TELL!!! so..to recap: Give her the bag right before she leaves. The bag needs to be STAPLED shut. In the bag a button down dress shirt, tie and the letter. If you would rather email the letter to me you can do that instead.
Thanks in advance! I think this is going WAY out of the box for some of us. I will make sure to get a photo of all of us having a pillow fight, as well. Just Kidding!!! Please reply that you received this and are on board. THANKS!
-Kat


The email replies were hysterical. They ranged from short and sweet: "on board FOR sure" to long and hilarious: "Should I pack choices, will there really be a pillow fight?" I love these guys. I got the enthusiastic OK from all of them so I got started thinking about the details.

The photographer of all photographers: Becky Danzenbaker

I had contacted Becky a long time ago about this idea. I have known her for awhile and knew she would be game for anything. She is witty, funny and easy going. I knew that would put all of us at ease and in turn would get some great shots of my girls...ahem...WOMEN... in their prime. At the end of the day we turned the tables on our sweet photographer and put her in FRONT of the lens. A natural in front of and behind the lens. So fun!

Drinkie-poos

I knew we would need liquid courage so I made sure we had it all. Margaritas, Firefly Lemonade, Stellas, Champagne. They walked in the door and I marched them right to the kitchen. I was so nervous that if  I divulged the adventure to them sober that I would hear, "oh no, I completely forgot that I had to go to a wedding, hair appt, doctors appt, etc. etc." I thought my best option would get some drinks in them to stop them from walking out the door. It worked.




Check out Maryhelen!



Somebody is telling a good story...could it possibly be Stacy?



Suzy remembers!



Stacy finds her "courage" and Tina is always just along for the ride!

Brown Paper Bags

I had faith in the husbands, but I still was holding my breath that they would come through on their instructions. As my beautiful girls walked to the door with their brown paper bags stapled about 1000 times I was relieved and amused. I love how the husbands followed my rules exactly as stated. Good Boys. Two of the guys veered a bit from the rules and it had us rolling. Lisa's husband had two bags for her. Bag one had one of her sons button shirts. So funny. And Tracy's husband also packed a white t-shirt, belgian waffle mix and a water bottle. We were like, "What in the world?" More on that later. And then Phil (Stacys husband) packed her rockin red heels. Phil, you are a very wise man....

Part One: The Campy Calendar


Part One was the Adventure Girls calendar. I wanted the calendar to be a look back of all of our fun adventures together. As we looked back on the past 9 adventures we had Becky shoot what we thought to be the funniest moments of each one. We took all of these photos in my front yard. I found out later some of the neighbors saw us. But, it was no surprise to them. Because as you know anyone that has any sort of contact with one of us finds out ALL about our Adventure Group. We are beyond sad that Kelly couldn't make it at the last minute. We missed her so much when we were taking these pictures!


White Water Rafting "The Screamers vs. The Gigglers"



Helen Says What???? 



Ziplining...Kat needs an intimate rescue and Tina gets poked with a stick



Surfing! Tracy gets a concussion, one lung Kat, Maryhelen gets up, two surfboard carry!



Trapeze!  The scariest part was letting go.  Thank goodness we had such a sweet instructor quietly telling us to "PUT OUR FEET UP AND LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



Race Car Driving!  Tracy is in Time-Out.  Heather Won. Fantastic Suits. Kat and Patty saw ponytails.



Pole Dancing! Inner Bad Girls found and Pole Pressure emails will continue for life!



Hangliding.  2500 feet. No net. Stacy turns green.  Heather says, "It was good." God protected. Aretha joined the group.

Part Two: Letters and neck-ties


We were all now ready to tackle part two. We started with a pillow fight (really, we did) and then sat in my basement together to listen to the letters our husbands wrote for us. Maryhelen was the "brave first" this time.  She read her letter from Sam, stepped into the red heels (thanks Phil) as the rest of us sipped on our magic cocktails.
Here is a little of Sams letter to Maryhelen and one of her reading it.  The pin-ups are under strict lock and key.  :)  Sorry, folks.

"Whether you are having a baby, running a marathon, hang gliding, surfing or just putting up with me you never fail.  Maryhelen, you impress me time and again and you don't even know it.... So here's to the year of camraderie and adventures gone by and to the anticipation of many epic adventures to come. I love you."
-Sam

It was now Suzy's turn and after reading her letter from Jason we decided to just read all of the letters AFTER we were photographed.  They were all so sweet and touching that we thought we may look better for our photos without smudged mascara. 



"Life is short and you only get one shot at it.  This world is full of awesome sights and experiences and yet most choose to settle for the norm without trying anything outside of their comfort zone....You have always
been a spontaneous type of person willing to try new things and you have made the boys and I very proud of you.  I hope you continue to push your limits and do the things that make life exciting. "

-Jason



Tracy read it for Suzy

And so it went...beautiful letters read, red shoes slipped on and lots of giggling.  Poor Becky.  She probably was so exhausted by the end.  I swear she must have said, "Stop Smiling!" a thousand times.

"One last thing I wanted to bring up...You will be reading this exactly 21 years from the date we started dating in High School.  Crazy, right?  It's funny how I forget so many dates/appointments, but have never forgotten that one.  There has been no greater adventure for you to tackle than putting up with me for so long.  Let the adventure continue for another 40 years.  Thank you and I love you."

-Phil

"I have included 2 choices for you: 1)The easy road...includes a shirt and tie just as Kathleen described. 2) The hard road...includes my favorite t-shirt (un-washed) and a bottle of water. (use your imagination). Face one more fear...I DARE YOU! You have never been one to take the easy road. I love you."

-Jonnie

Waiting on pic of Tracy reading Jonnies letter...(which we were crying with laughter while she read)

"'My "you're so pretty" wife has shown the world that she is so much more than a mom, wife and friend. She is a fearless woman-one full of courage and spirit. I am also happy that you have found a group who can help you find a place and time in our crazy world and schedule just for Patty.  Having something that is just for you, makes you a better you.  I have seen it in all you do and I am so thankful for this....so remember that I love you with all of my heart: More and more everyday." 
-Jamie



Maryhelen reading for Patty

"Thank you for selecting me as your partner to through the adventure of life with....thank you making our life together amazing. I am getting all hot and bothered just thinking of you. You have brought two beautiful kids into this world and are showing them how to live their life to the fullest; with confidence, no regrets and showing them what true friendship is all about. I am so proud of you and love you very much."
-Chris

"I am so proud of you for having the guts to try new things that most people never attempt to do.  I love how excited you get when you start getting clues and how cute you are with your nervous excitement the night before and the day of the adventure.  I love you so much DOC and I am amazed at what a wonderful woman I married."
-Brian



Stacy reading Heathers

"Love, I look forward to the day when we can look back on our life knowing we truly lived the good life...an even larger smile will come as I think about my quiet child bride and how she turned into an adventurous beautiful woman.  One day our great grandkids will come across the picture and they will be envious of our life together. We can only hope that it inspires them to live an adventurous life."
-George

"Noone will ever be able to take away the times you have shared and the fun things everyone has done together. I feel it has turned you into a stronger woman and an even better mom.  As your husband and best friend I can't tell you how proud of you I am.  Through you I have learned how important friends are and living life to its fullest...I love you with all my heart."
-Kevin

And because I PROMISED THE BOYS! 

So to my courageous, sweet, supportive adventure girls:  Cheers to us for following our creed of stepping outside of the box without hesitation.   We can look back on this year with memories to last a lifetime and with old friendships renewed and new friendships revealed.  Chris said in his letter to me, "I hope you continue your adventures with this group of women for the rest of your life..."  Well, I think we can all agree with that sentiment.  So, here is to the future and the many adventures that await....

Kelly is next!!!  Summer hiatus and then back to business in September!

Adventure #9-Tandem Hang Gliding

Joie De Vierve and other Fancy Words

We began as we always do....in some parking lot where anticipation is the first course.  This time it was not a surprise.  We were supposed to go over a month ago, but the weather did not cooperate.  This gave me (Kat) the opportunity to research and get myself all worked up to the point of actually googling: "How many fatalities were there in 2010 while hang gliding?"  I wonder what number would have been acceptable to me?  I was not going to leave them without a prayer warrior so I went anyway.  Plus, the car rides are always one of my favorite parts and this particular ride did not disappoint.  Dare I say it was the Pièce de résistance? (French word referring to the best part or highlight). 
There were so many fancy words used on the trip that I thought I had possibly missed an adventure where my now brilliant adventure girls took some weird SAT prep course. 

We met at Panera and while waiting for my caramel latte (italian for coffee drink) I overheard a woman say, "Wow that is so awesome."  Without even turning around I knew that it was one of us telling a stranger that she is part of an adventure group and letting her know ALL about it....whether she wanted to hear it or not.  Check, Check.  (It was Tracy this time...a task that Maryhelen usually completes for us). 

We piled into Tracys minivan and before the seatbelts were even fastened, Tracy describes someone and says, "I really love her "Joie de Vivre" (french meaning cheerful enjoyment of life).  Why, Why, Why do I not live on a commune with these girls?  I laugh until I cry EVERY time!  On this ride Stacy said some really big word, too.  But it may have been the moment my brain exploded so I forgot what it was...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I am not proud of the fact that I am not clear on some of the inner workings of the world.  I learned a lot and feel strangly connected to Aretha Franklin.  If you are not a part of this group, but follow the blog (thank you) call me. I will explain my affinity for Ms. Franklin privately; for some things a woman does not discuss outside of the safety of the minivan.  And by the way, I am not the only one who had a little break in common sense thinking today...Tracy, after laughing at my expense, let us know we were in Woodbridge because "there is the IKEA."  Umm...more than one IKEA in the world and we are in Maryland, Tracy.  So at least I am in good company.

Patty and her one liners
Get Patty a little nervous and her comedic timing is flawless.  She is the one who came up with Aretha.  She also let us know that "Bladder over Glider" was a must.  Picture the thought of being 2500 feet in the air and strapped to what we knew would be a handsome man and realizing that loss of bladder control was definitely on this beautiful horizon.  They WERE very handsome, by the way.  Our instructors always are....Sunny and Adam.  ahh...Perfectly sweet and incredibly encouraging.

I have an EVERYTHING
I know a lot of people may have been disappointed that the founder of this group (me) did not participate.  On the way there the girls were trying to figure out what it was that was stopping me.  "Are you afraid of heights?"  "Are you afraid of the glider breaking?"  etc. etc.  I replied "I have an EVERYTHING!"  My husband also said he was worried about this one.  I told Chris that Tracy is completely fearless and will do anything anyone puts her up to...He responded with the typical old man comment, "Would she jump off a bridge if dared?"  After relaying this to Tracy her response was, "Tell him that if I was tethered to the bridge I would."  She really is amazing and so funny.  I will tell you I will never again research beforehand. I am forever grateful that I was never shamed or felt to be anything other than a wonderful friend for coming and supporting!  That is the real deal.  True Friendship.

Pilots License in about 5 minutes

Before departing to NeverNeverLand the girls had to sign a few papers and get a quick overview of the hangglider.  Maryhelen signed and dated hers May 21st, Two Thousand, the year of our Lord, Eleven. Although the instructors obviously knew what they were talking about, Stacy wasn't sure that this tiny rope REALLY could hold up to 5000 pounds. 

PS....Check out Maryhelen in the background.  The look of complete, "What am I DOING?"

I HAVE to go first
Everyone was thinking this, but Heather just got it out first.  She is one of our go-get-ems.  She never seems to be nervous.  And when she has completed the adventure she always says, "that was awesome."
So when she arrived back on solid ground and we were screaming, "how was it?"  and she responded with "It was good." it made us feel a little more nervous. Did that mean it was awful....did she see the world REALLY ending from her vantage point in the sky?"  What did "It was good mean?"  Well, we found out it meant, "It was amazing, but I am about to puke."  Here she is on video taking off.... Our Fearless First!  She was followed by Patty and then one by one my precious brave buddies got in that sack and took the ride of a lifetime. 

The Amazing Aero-Dynamic Adventure Girls!

Sacks and other things we find a way to make inappropriate
So, there was a tandem sack that you needed to get into before gliding.  I mean, come on.  That is just waiting for an inappropriate remark.  I can't remember who said that she was "most afraid of getting in the sack." but it had us rolling.  Add to it our instructor saying "well, I can add a little more pressure" a few minutes later and forget about it.  Life doesn't get any better than when there are double entendres (french) thrown around.  MH also let us know that she was talking about doing this one day with someone and repeatedly called it HANDgliding.  The kind man finally told her it was actually HANGgliding.  I am not sure what handgliding is, but I am almost positive Tracy would do it if she were tethered in some way. 

The Quiet Warrior aka No Cracker
We had a special adventure girl with us this month.  Shannon is Kelly's biological sister and I am still wondering if she will ever join us again.  Shannon, I apologize that we did not allow you, as our guest, to go first and I am super sorry you did not receive a congratulatory cracker.   Please come back and I promise you we will not starve you.  You were just as I knew you would be; gracious, funny and courageous! 
When Shannon headed up, Kelly said with complete sisterly pride, "Look there she is!"  It was so sweet.   
Here is Shannon before and after!

Memo Pad Memory Loss
I always keep a memo pad throughout the day of funny and exceptional moments of our adventures that I can record in this blog.  There were so many and to be perfectly frank (unknown) I cannot remember the origins of the following notes in my memo pad. I know they were hilarious, but I am at a complete loss.  Even without explanation they seem and are funny so I will include them below. 
1) Put a sock up there
2) It is like a facelift
3) Cause that's normal
4) Acid from Tummy
5) My neighborhood is not in Gangstaland
6) He's got you in your special place Heather

Pebbles
I wish I could explain, but I can't. 

We aren't ALL KAPPA DELTAS!!
MH just can't seem to remember that we are a mix of DZ's and KD's.  It is a running joke, but I really think she has it right.   We have grown closer throughout this first year as BG's and now the lines are so blurred that we forget that one year ago some of us had never even met.   And that, my friends, is the exact definition of joie de vierve.   

Final Note: Suzy does not like to hold hands and MH is an excellent bridge driver. 

Thank you to Tracy for planning such a fabulously frightening adventure! We completely missed Lisa and Tina! 

NEXT month: Kat has planned a way to commemorate our One Year Anniversary!