Hypo-Phobic Bad Girls: Adventure 11-Guns and Thumbs: A Deadly Combination

Watch Out, Paper Bad Guys!

Did you know that thumbs are kind of a big deal when it comes to operating a 9 MM Glock?

Our mission was to meet up at Kelly's house in DC at 8:45. We all carpooled in two vehicles for a few reasons. 1) Tina is weaing The Boot. 2) Kat would never make it on her own. 3) It takes more than one adventure girl to figure out what "take the 5th exit on the Rhode Island round-about means? 4) Maryhelen watches the news.

PG County had better recognize

We waited in Kelly's adorable DC rowhouse to hear what was in store for us on this, our 11th adventure! We were visibly shaken when she pulled out photos of handguns. When we finally started to settle down we got into the car and we asked, "Where? Kelly? Where?" She let us know we would traveling to the delightful county of Prince George. Anxiety Overload. Tina was front seat navigator with a map Kelly handed her with a "blank" second page. We got there though...we just followed the smell of gun powder.

Sa-cur-a-tee

As we waited outside for the doors to open we were struck by the sad, sad state of their security camera. It was hanging by a thread....just like every last one of our frayed nerves.

Sketchy Security Cam

10 AM and the doors click open. Patty turns to me and says, "not sure my black flats are appropriate" to which I replied, "umm...take a gander at my black patent leather flats." You know the scene in Resovoir Dogs when the guys are all walking down the street together and some cool song is playing in the background? Yay, we didn't look that cool. And when I think back to all of us walking up to the front door I don't hear a ghetto fabulous song. Instead I hear, "This is it, this is it, this is life the one you get, so go and have a ball." Yes, that is the theme song from the old 1970's sitcom One Day at a Time. We were out of our element fo' sho and that ALWAYS makes for a great adventure.

Gentle Jim and Band-Aids

It was now time to "train" to handle our gun of choice: The 9MM Glock. We lucked out and got Jim. His first question to us was, "Do your husbands know you are here?" Not only was he sweet as pumpkin pie, he also had the patience of a saint. The first thing we had to do was learn how to load our ammo. This is where the first thumb incident occured. For those who do not know me I have seriously funky thumbs. They are short and stumpy and I lovingly refer to them as my "dumb thumbs."  While trying to load the gun my thumbs got in the way and ammo went everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE.  The girls helped me retrieve the ammo while we were all laughing hysterically.

Tina was having a bit of difficulty pulling back the slide. Her palms were so sweaty and her stance a bit wobbly due to The Boot.  I think this may have been Tina's first attempt to get out of this craziness. She turned to Jim and said, "I don't think this boot will keep me steady enough to shoot the gun. I think this may be too dangerous." Jim let her know she was just fine and the boot will actually give her extra support.

One of the girls walked up to take her "test" (I believe it was Stacy) and immediately Jim shouted, "You have already failed." Apparently if your thumb is anywhere near the back of the gun it can cut you to the bone and he will refuse to give us a band-aid because we should all know better.
We all took our turns taking the test and one by one we passed. Shocking, we know.  My thumb could not reach the slide release so he let Maryhelen and Tina know they would need to complete this step for me. Those thumbs were screwing us up at every turn. Dumb, dumb thumbs.
**piece of advice. Do not wear low cut camisole to shoot guns. You may be embarrased when asked to "cover up because the shells may burn your exposed skin."**

Shaky Hands and Exposed Skin

The Onion Strikes Again

Kelly never ceases to amaze. She chose this adventure because it was completely out of her comfort zone. She ended up KILLING it and even walked away with a signature stance. Kelly's team flew through ALL of their ammo before the sweaty team even had a chance to reload. Once again, Patty went all gangsta on us and nailed her bulls-eye her first go at it. I do have to point out that Patty asked Jim if the bullet could bounce back at her. Jim let her know that, "frankly, yes it could, but since we're shooting at paper the probability of that happening is pretty slim." How in the world did he keep a straight face?

Maryhelen is always so supportive of everyone and never seems to want to compete with any of us...but she ALWAYS competes with herself. She will be back at that range next week to try to hit that dang bulls-eye and you can bet that Jim will be standing right behind her checking out her "stance."

Patty asking the question of the hour

I am still wondering how we got through this adventure after listening to Jim tell us (right before we all took our first shot) "You know you could kill someone." Ahh...so very reassuring.

Tina still not sure The Boot will give her enough support

Just our waitress

We took our customary post adventure trip to a restaurant to talk about our latest adventure and annoy strangers with our story. Kelly kept with the gangsta theme and we went to Carmines in DC. The waitress came over and we let her know we were part of an adventure group. After noticing she had little interest in hearing more about our group we decided she may not have heard us. She returned with our food and Maryhelen said, a bit louder this time, "We are a part of an Adventure group." Crickets. And then she was gone. Lisa turned to Stacy and said, "Obviously she is just our waitress and not our friend." After 11 adventures together it still stuns us when strangers are just not interested in knowing more about us. We will never stop trying to convert others to the adventurous side, but until then we know we can out-raft, out-Helen, out-zip, out-surf, out-dance, out-trap, out-paintball, out-race, out-glide, out-boudoir, and now out-shoot 'em all. Thank you Kelly for an unforgettable day! I am now in post-adventure girl funk and can't wait to see you again. We missed you Tracy, Suzy and Heather!

***We came out of this adventure unscathed with the exception of Patty's thumb which is now purple for reasons unknown. DUMB THUMBS!***

In All Our Glory